Warning: Declaration of theme_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/theme-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of blog_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/blog-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of contact_form_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/contact-form-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of design_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/design-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of layout_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/layout-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of sidebar_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/sidebar-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of slideshow_settings_object::init() should be compatible with framework_object_ambassador_1::init($settings) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/slideshow-settings/object.php on line 0

Warning: session_start(): Cannot start session when headers already sent in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/utilities/email-functions.php on line 3

Warning: Illegal string offset 'contact_fields' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/contact-form-settings/saved/demo-settings.php on line 3

Warning: Illegal string offset 'slideshows' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/slideshow-settings/saved/demo-settings.php on line 3

Warning: Illegal string offset 'layout-options' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 8

Warning: Illegal string offset 'design-options' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 12

Warning: Illegal string offset 'media' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 16

Warning: Illegal string offset 'content-options' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 20

Warning: Illegal string offset 'background' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 28

Warning: Illegal string offset 'static-content-options' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 32

Warning: Illegal string offset 'html-content' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 36

Warning: Illegal string offset 'content-filters' in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/content-fields/saved/saved-meta-fields.php on line 40

Warning: Use of undefined constant ture - assumed 'ture' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/theme-functions/layout-and-design.php on line 142

Warning: Use of undefined constant ture - assumed 'ture' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/photonbo/public_html/wp-content/themes/parallelus-salutation/framework/theme-functions/layout-and-design.php on line 142
Ministry of Funny Walks

Ministry of Funny Walks

Posted by
|

Today the phone rang, and you always know its trouble when ‘Blocked’ appears on the screen. It’s always someone official, being officious, whilst doing there best to sound like the training told them to be; friendly and disarming. It was the Department for Work and Pensions, reviewing my case on receiving disability allowance, which was thrust upon me by the council. You have to update them of your status, otherwise governments will fall and frightening official statistics will appear on Channel 4 news in a colourful 3D graph. The operator thanked me for contacting them and then launched into an interview on my status.

“Can you walk for five minutes with one crutch and not stumble or fall over?” She asked.
“So far, yes,” I said.
“And can you cook a simple meal, or take a piece of chicken out of the oven?” She probed.
“Yes, skinless chicken,” I replied to engage a response. Nothing.
“That’s great you’re improving. I saw the medical records, you were quite in the wars weren’t you?” She paused and then added, “we’ll stop payment now. Is that alright?”

I’m not sure if I said no, that’s absolutely ridiculous it would have swayed any decision. The state has decreed me non-disabled, as long as I don’t fall over within five minutes of walking down the road.

Add a comment

About Photonbox

Photonbox is a portfolio and photography blog of my work and others. The others are the great and the good, shining examples of great photography. My own work by contrast is a soft glow, but practice makes perfect…

Pearl of Wisdom

The more personal you make it, the more universal it becomes. – Diane Arbus
Copyright © 2016 Photonbox